Not Your Father’s Taliban
by Andy Borowitz March 8, 2010
TALIBAN OVERHAUL IMAGE TO WIN ALLIES
The Taliban have embarked on a sophisticated information war, using modern media tools as well as some old-fashioned ones, to soften their image. . . . The dictates include bans on suicide bombings against civilians, burning down schools, or cutting off ears, lips and tongues. —The Times.
Isn’t it time you took another look at . . . the Taliban™?
Not your father’s Taliban™. The New Taliban™. TalibanLite™.
We know what you’re thinking: “The Taliban™? Aren’t they the dudes who blow up shit and cut off body parts?”
LOL! You’re thinking of the Old Taliban™.
How do we know what you’re thinking?
You’re, like, “Focus groups? Since when do the Taliban™ do focus groups?”
We’re, like, “Since Domino’s Pizza started doing them.”